Ninja Karaoke
by Drawl Needler
Summary: Oh no, an insane author is forcing everybody to sing! And there's a bizarre case of heart attacks going around! What's going on?
1. Naruto Doesn't Wanna Stop

Disclaimer for all chapters: I do not own Naruto or any of the songs/bands in this fic. Not yet…

I know there are a million karaoke fics, but I have yet to find a one I thought was any good. So, I decided to try my hand at it. I'm not saying mine will be any better, though, because that's all a matter of opinion. And please, if you know a good karaoke fic, feel free to tell me.

* * *

Team 7 was in an odd predicament. During their training Naruto had passed out. Sasuke followed after, and then Kakashi. While Sakura was thinking of what she could to Sasuke while he slept, she too fell unconscious. When they woke up they were in an empty room.

"What's going on?" Sakura asked.

"Sakura?" they heard someone say. They turned their heads and saw that the other three Konoha teams, as well as Gaara and his siblings were there with them.

"What are you guys doing here?" Naruto asked.

Shikamaru responded, "I have no idea. We just woke up."

"Yeah, us too," Kiba said. "Where are we?"

"THAT IS A GOOD QUESTION!!" a voice boomed. There was a crackle of lightning, and a stage appeared before them. On the stage was a man in a black robe with a black hood covering his face.

"Who are you?" Ino asked.

"That is also a good question. I am Drawl Needler, the author of this story!" The teams gave him blank stares. Drawl sighed and said, "Ok, the best way for me to explain this is that I have complete control over you guys and what happens to you."

"Prove it," Sakura said. Then she suddenly had a heart attack and died.

"YES!!" Sasuke yelled. But then she came back to life. "Damn…"

"So how was dying?" Drawl asked her smugly.

"Heaven was a lot hotter than I thought it would be," she said with a confused look on her face.

"Sakura, I don't think-"

Drawl cut Kakashi off, saying, "No, no, no, don't tell her. It'll be a good surprise for when she permanently dies. Anyways, I've brought you here because…" Drawl pulled back his hood, revealing a puppet face. "…_I want to play a game._" This caused everyone to go into a panic. Drawl, failing to hold in his laugh, put his hood back on and said, "I can't believe you guys fell for that. That was great, really. Seriously though, I'm forcing you guys to have a karaoke night." The panic stopped when he said karaoke.

"Are you serious?" Sasuke asked.

"That's a stupid idea," Neji said.

Then they both had a heart attack and died. And then came back to life. "That's going to happen anytime you insult me, by the way. Back to the matter at hand, I will be forcing you guys to sing, or I'll kill you off permanently. At least until this fic is over. Also, there are no permanent repercussions on what you sing. You'll see what I mean when you're done." Neji raised his hand. "Yes, Neji?"

"Can I not go?"

"I'll let you go last."

"Fair enough."

Drawl waved his hand, and booths and tables facing the stage appeared behind them. "People who are not singing can sit there and order drinks from my server." Instantly a puppet on a tricycle appeared that looked eerily familiar. "I know he's creepy, deal with it. So, just come up to me when you want to sing and tell me what song you want."

The teams were silent for a moment as they all went to their seats, the girls separating themselves to one side and the boys to the other, and started talking amongst themselves over what they were going to sing.

"I'm going to sing a love song for Sasuke," Ino said proudly.

"Well I'm going to sing TWO love songs for Sasuke," Sakura said. The two girls started getting into an argument over who would sing more songs for Sasuke; the other four girls were talking reasonably like ADULTS.

"S-so what a-are you going to sing Kurenai-sensei?" Hinata asked.

"Oh, I don't know. I think this whole thing is ridiculous, though." And then she… didn't have a heart attack. What the heck?

"I'm not punishing the girls. Except Sakura and Ino. Anyways, people, come on, who's going first?" Naruto got up from his seat, much to the surprise of everyone else, and walked up to the stage. "What do you want?"

"I don't wanna stop."

"Ooh, good choice." Drawl stepped down from the stage and the music started.

There was a held guitar note at the beginning, which quickly faded out when the drums started. After the opening instrumental, Naruto started to sing.

_I don't know what they're talking about  
I'm making my own decisions  
This thing that I found ain't gonna bring me down  
I'm like a junkie without an addiction_

_Mama don't cry I just wanna stay high  
I like playing with danger and fear  
Everybody's walkin' but nobody's talkin'  
It looks a lot better from here_

_All my life I've been over the top  
I don't know what I'm doing all I know is I don't wanna stop  
All fired up, I'm gonna go 'til I drop  
You're either in or in the way, don't make me I don't wanna stop_

Naruto started to bang his head along with the rhythm of the guitar, along with every other guy except Neji and Gaara.

_Why don't they ever listen to me  
It's just a one way conversation  
Nothing they say is gonna set me free  
Don't need no mental mast********_

_Too many religions but only one god  
I don't need another saviour  
Don't try to change my mind  
You know I'm one of a kind  
Ain't gonna change my bad behaviour_

_All my life I've been over the top  
I don't know what I'm doing all I know is I don't wanna stop  
All fired up, I'm gonna go 'til I drop  
You're either in or in the way, don't make me I don't wanna stop  
All my life I've been over the top  
I don't know what I'm doing all I know is I don't wanna stop  
All fired up, I'm gonna go 'til I drop  
You're either in or in the way, don't make me I don't wanna stop_

The song slowed down, and there were many repeats of the line I don't wanna stop coming from the background. Then there was a wicked awesome solo that Kiba did air guitar to. Before the solo ended Naruto shouted, "Everybody!" And they sang:

_All my life I've been over the top  
I don't know what I'm doing all I know is I don't wanna stop  
All fired up, I'm gonna go 'til I drop  
You're either in or in the way, don't make me I don't wanna stop  
All my life I've been over the top  
I don't know what I'm doing all I know is I don't wanna stop  
All fired up, I'm gonna go 'til I drop  
You're either in or in the way, don't make me I don't wanna stop_

There was a lot of clapping and whistling, mostly from the boy's side, and Naruto walked off the stage. "Thank you, thank you. Please, no applause, just throw money." Naruto took his seat and Drawl went back up to the stage. "One down, eighteen to go. Who's next?"

I'm trying not to use the general stereotyped songs for each character that a lot of people seem to use. For example, a lot of people use "Who Let the Dog's Out?" for Kiba. I'm not using that one. I'm using something just a bit… different. I'll give you a hint: Van Halen.


	2. Kiba's Hot For Teacher

First song:

_Singing _

Spoken parts during a song

Second song:

_Kiba _

**Naruto **

_**Both**_

* * *

Naruto sat back down at his seat with the rest of the guys, still confused as to how he sang so well. "I didn't know you could sing, dobe," Sasuke said.

"I can't. Last time I tried to sing I got attacked by cats," Naruto said, looking horrified by the memory. Kiba glanced Naruto, who was now in the fetal position, and then turned to address the rest of the guys.

"So, who's going next?" Kiba asked. The table was silent. "Come on guys, man up! It's not that bad!"

"So why don't you go next then, dog boy?" Neji asked him.

"Probably because he's afraid of embarrassing himself in front of everybody," Sasuke said.

"Oh please, Akamaru and I can sing good! Right Akamaru?" Kiba asked, but the dog wasn't there. He looked over at the stage where he saw Drawl playing with his dog. "Aka-Akamaru?" Kiba said pathetically, a tear in his eye. The rest of the group ignored him as he curled up in the fetal position with Naruto and started to cry.

Shikamaru said, "Seriously though, we are all going to have to sing. If not, you know what that Drawl guy is going to do to us."

"Oh please," Neji said in his very Neji-like fashion, "it's not permanent. Watch; Drawl is stupid." Then Neji had a heart attack and died. The group stared at him for a few moments and when they saw he wasn't coming back to life they resumed their conversation.

"And this is exactly what I'm talking about," said Shikamaru, gesturing at Neji's rapidly decaying corpse.

Kiba stopped crying for a second and said, "I'll do it."

"What?" Shikamaru asked.

"I'll do the next song. For the good of all of us," Kiba stated, standing up.

"No, Kiba, don't be a hero!" Naruto yelled, now normal as well.

"I'm sorry Naruto, but I have to. If I don't survive, let Neji know that I always hated him. I always hated him the most." With that, Kiba strode up to the stage where Drawl was, who was holding Akamaru. Looking at the white dog he asked, "Can I have my dog back?"

"After your song," Drawl answered. "What are you doing?" Kiba whispered something in his ear, and everybody could tell that Drawl was beaming in excitement over this choice of song; mostly because there was a beam of light coming from where his mouth was in the shape of a smile. "Can do, Kiba." Drawl set Akamaru down – who ran off to the tables – and summoned a guitar out of nowhere.

"Aren't the songs recorded?"

"Yes, but the guitar is too awesome for me not to play," Drawl said.

Kiba walked up to the mic stand and the music started. It was a repeating line of drums for a little bit, and then the guitar started. Drawl slid his fingers up and down the neck as he played expertly, and then the whole band started to play. The music died down, with Drawl playing a repeating riff. Throughout. They could hear the rustling of papers in the background and voices.

Oh, wow, man.

Hey, wait a second man, what exactly do you think our teacher's gonna look like, huh?

Woah!

_T-T-Teacher stop that screaming, teacher don't you see? _

_Don't wanna be no uptown fool. _

_Maybe I should go to hell, but I'm doin' well, _

_teacher needs to see me after school._

_I think of all the education that I missed. _

_But then my homework was never quite like this. _

_Got it bad, got it bad, got it bad, _

_I'm hot for teacher. _

_I got it bad, so bad, _

_I'm hot for teacher._

All the girls looked at Kurenai, whose face was flushed with embarrassment. The boys were giving encouraging whoops and howls to Kiba. The music slowed down again for the next spoken part.

Hey, I heard you missed us, we're back!

I brought my kunai!

Give me something to stick it in, would ya? Ooh!

_I heard about your lessons, but lessons are so cold. _

_I know about this school. _

_Little girl from cherry lane, how did you get so bold? _

_How did you know that golden rule?_

_I think of all the education that I missed. _

_But then my homework was never quite like this. _

_Got it bad, got it bad, got it bad, _

_I'm hot for teacher. _

_I got it bad, so bad, _

_I'm hot for teacher._

Then, like with Naruto's song, there was an awesome solo that Drawl pulled off to perfection before going back to a slow part.

Oh man, I think the clock is slow.

I don't feel tardy.

Class dismissed!

_Ooh yeah!_

_I've got it bad, got it bad, got it bad,_

_I'm hot for teacher._

_Yes I'm hot!_

_Woah!_

_Oh my god!_

For the ending of the song Drawl burst into a solo of epic proportions, of which the world had never seen before, except when it was first recorded. After the song ended Kiba asked, "You had to throw in Eruption?"

"Yes. Yes I did."

Neji finally came back to life and looked around confusedly. "What'd I miss?" he asked groggily.

"I just finished my song," Kiba said, coming back over to the table. Akamaru's head perked up when he heard his master. "Akamaru!" Kiba said joyously, and they jumped into each other's arms. It was beautiful; there was even a sunset in the background.

"No need to thank me," Gai said.

"Aaaaanyways," Drawl started. "To thank our first two singers, I'm going to do something special. You guys get ot perform a duet!"

"What?" Naruto and Kiba shouted.

"Yeah! And you have five minutes to come up with a song!"

"Well this sucks," Naruto said.

"Yeah, what the heck are we going to sing?" Kiba asked the blonde. Naruto looked over at Neji and smiled.

"I got an idea…"

Five minutes later Kiba and Naruto came up to the stage. "I'm assuming you decided on your song," Drawl said. Naruto whispered it into his ear, and Drawl bust out laughing. "I love it!"

The two reluctant singers stepped up to the front, where there were now two microphones. "This one is for Neji," Kiba said. Neji raised his eyebrow, but his question was immediately answered as soon as the music started, and they started to sing.

_That, _**that**_** dude looks like a lady  
**__That,_** that**_** dude looks like a lady  
**__That, _**that**_** dude looks like a lady  
**__That,_** that**_** dude looks like a lady**_

Naruto and Kiba were dancing along with the song, both apparently enjoying making fun of the Hyuuga (that looks like a lady).

_Cruise into a bar on the shore  
_**Her picture graced the grime on the door  
**_She's a long lost love at first bite  
_**Baby maybe you're wrong but you know it's all right  
**_**That's right**_

**Backstage we're havin' the time  
**_of our live until somebody say_  
**Forgive me if I seem out of line**  
_Then she whipped out her gun and tried to blow me away!_

_That, _**that**_** dude looks like a lady  
**__That,_** that**_** dude looks like a lady  
**__That, _**that**_** dude looks like a lady  
**__That, _**that**_** dude looks like a lady**_

Everyone was laughing by this point, while Neji just slumped lower and lower into his chair.

_Never judge a book by it's cover  
_**or who you gonna love by your lover**  
_Sayin' love put me wise to her love in disguise  
_**She had the body of a Venus, Lord imagine my surprise.**

_That, _**that**_** dude looks like a lady  
**__That, _**that**_** dude looks like a lady  
**__That, _**that**_** dude looks like a lady  
**__That,_** that**_** dude looks like a lady**_

The song slowed down a bit for the next part, but Neji wasn't paying attention to it anymore. No matter how many times he was insulting Drawl right then, he wasn't dieing.

_So baby let me follow you down_ **(let me take a peek dear)**  
_Baby let me follow you down_ **(do me, do me, do me all night)**  
_Baby let me follow you down_ **(turn the other cheek dear)**  
_Baby let me follow you down_ **(do me, do me, do me, do me)**

Another solo followed (everybody seemed to be picking songs with solos, not that Drawl was complaining) before that song picked up again.

_Oo, what a funky lady_  
**Oo, she like it, like it, like it, like that. **  
_Oo he was a lady! Oo!_

_That, _**that**_** dude looks like a lady  
**__That,_** that**_** dude looks like a lady  
**__That,_** that**_** dude looks like a lady  
**__That,_** that**_** dude looks like a lady**_

_That, _**that**_** dude looks like a lady  
**__That,_** that**_** dude looks like a lady  
**__That,_** that**_** dude looks like a lady  
**__That,_** that**_** dude looks like a lady**_

_**Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady  
Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady  
Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady  
Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady**_

The song ended, and Kiba and Naruto were howling with laughter. "It was worth coming back up here to do that!" Naruto said in between fits of laughing.

"I completely agree Naruto. I completely agree," Kiba apparently agreed. They returned to their seats, where they were met by the most Neji-like glare Neji could give.

"I'm going to kill you two. Slowly." Naruto and Kiba didn't doubt that he would, either, so they wisely shut their mouths. Then Neji had a heart attack and died.


	3. Hey man, look at Shino rockin' out!

So... um... OH!! Death Magnetic was released! I know I'm 13 days late on reporting this, but it is an awesome album. I actually got it for 9 bucks off Amazon. That was cool. But not as cool as the album. Metallica is back!

* * *

Ninja Karaoke

Chapter 3: Hey man, look at Shino rocking out!

"Well, that was interesting," Drawl said after Naruto and Kiba returned to their seats (and after Neji made his threat). "So, I'm going to let you converse among yourselves while we wait for someone to man up and actually sing. Meanwhile, remember you can order drinks from my server," he motioned to the puppet on the tricycle.

The puppet wheeled itself to the boys table and asked, "_Would you like to have a drink?_" Everyone stared at it fearfully, even Sasuke, Neji, and Gaara. Apparently Neji had chosen the wrong moment to come back to life. "_Fine, if you don't want a drink, then would you like to play a game?_"

"I will have a soda!" Naruto yelled, afraid for his life. And he had reason to be. All the other boys soon ordered drinks, not wanting to find out what kind of "game" this thing had in mind.

"_Would you gentlemen like to order?_" the puppet asked the teachers, who were all huddles around whispering to each other.

"We're good," Kakashi said, only lifting his head up for a brief second before returning to the huddle. The puppet wheeled itself over to the girls tables, and the boys promptly heard shrieks of terror from Sakura and Ino.

Naruto finally calmed down and said, "I'm glad that thing is gone. Anyways, what are you guys talking about?" he asked the teachers. Asuma waved his hand and they continued their conversation.

"Forget them for now, Naruto. We need to make a plan of action for this," Shikamaru said, taking charge of the group. Because he's Shikamaru, and that's what he does. "We all want to get out of this as fast as we possibly can, right? So we need to start actually singing. Even if we can't sing. And Neji, that goes double for you."

"What, why me?" the Hyuuga asked.

"Because I know you don't want to go at all. In fact it's bad enough you're going last."

"I don't even want to do this, it's only fair that I go last."

"Oh what, like I want to go next," Sasuke said.

"Will you listen to me?" The three of them continued to argue; Shino wasn't listening anymore. He stood up and walked up to the stage.

Drawl looked him up and down and asked, "Do you have a question?"

"I'm here to sing," Shino said.

"I'm sorry, I must've had something stuck in my ear. Did you just say you wanted to sing?"

"I want to do Radio/Video."

Drawl stared at him for another second and said, "I'm sorry, I must've had something stuck in my ear. I believe you just said you wanted to do a System Of A Down song, of all bands."

"Will you just play the music?"

"Um, sure." Drawl walked off the stage, and Shino could swear he heard him mumble, "Am I really writing this right now? I need to calm down." Then Sakura, Ino, Sasuke, and Neji all had heart attacks and died at the same time. Unfortunately they came back to life. Except Neji. And Sasuke. And Sakura. And Ino, too. So really it wasn't so much a "they came back to life" as it was a "they stayed dead".

The first 30 or so seconds was a soft rift being repeated over and over again. It was about what they would expect from someone like Shino; after all, he wouldn't pick a really hard song, right? Right?

_Hey man! Look at me rockin' out,  
I'm on the radio!  
Hey man! Look at me rockin' out,  
I'm on the video!  
Hey man! Look at me rockin' out,  
I'm on the radio!  
Hey man! Look at me rockin' out,  
I'm on the video!  
With Danny and Lisa…_

This wasn't what anyone was expecting. At all. The rest of Team 8 was shocked at the sudden outburst of Shino's voice; this was the loudest they had ever heard him.

_They take me away from,  
The strangest places  
Sweet Danny and Lisa  
They take me away from...AHHHHHHHHHH._

_They take me away from,  
The strangest places  
Sweet Danny and Lisa  
They take me away from… AHHHHHHHHHH._

During the "AHH" parts there was an echo of the lyrics coming from… somewhere.

_Hey man! Look at me rockin' out,  
I'm on the radio!  
Hey man! Look at me rockin' out,  
I'm on the video!  
With Danny and Lisa,_

"Who are Danny and Lisa?" Naruto asked.

Drawl smacked him upside the head and said, "Be respectful of other people's turns. And I don't know."

_They take me away from,  
The strangest places  
Sweet Danny and Lisa,  
They take me away from...AHHH._

_They take me away from,  
The strangest places  
Sweet Danny and Lisa,  
They take me away from...AHHH._

The song quieted down, for the next part, and many people thought it would become normal. Oh how wrong they were.

_Hey man look at me rockin' out,  
I'm on the RADIO!! _(It was this part that scared the crap out of many of them)_  
Hey man look at me rockin' out,  
I'm on the VIDEO!! _(This part too)_  
With Danny and Lisa._

_They take me away from,  
The strangest places  
Sweet Danny and Lisa._

The song quieted down for a short, soft guitar solo. Then it started to pick up speed.

_LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA  
NANANANANANAANA _

_AHHHHHHH!!_

_Hey man! Look at me rockin' out,  
I'm on the radio!  
Hey man! Look at me rockin' out,  
I'm on the video!  
Hey man! Look at me rockin' out,  
I'm on the radio!  
Hey man! Look at me rockin' out,  
I'm on the video!  
With Danny and Lisa…_

When the song ended, Shino quietly went back to his seat without a word. Everyone was too shocked to applaud. Well, except for the corpses of the people who had heart attacks. They were clapping, even though it was really creepy. "Heh, I love being the master of puppets," Drawl said. Kankuro then know what his song was going to be.


	4. Kankuro is the MASTER! MASTER!

What's up everybody? I know I haven't updated in a while, and for that I am sorry. However, I am updating now, so I hope you forgive me.

Anyways, in other news, I now have every main Metallica CD, except for Load and St. Anger. Guess which one of those I'm not going to buy? Go on, I'll give you three chances.

* * *

Ninja Karaoke

Chapter 4: Kankuro is the MASTER! MASTER!

"Drawl!" Kankuro yelled, jumping out of his seat.

"Yes?" he asked.

"Can I go next?"

Drawl stared at him for a few seconds before clapping. "You see ladies and gentleman, this is who you should be more like; just getting this whole thing over with. You know what Kankuro, you have made me so proud, I'm going to resurrect these four." And so he did. Sasuke, Neji, Sakura, and Ino's bodies all came upright and gasped in air. "Hey guys. How was the afterlife?"

"I had to carry huge stones on my back for some reason," Neji said.

"First Terrace," Drawl whispered to Kankuro.

"Sakura and I were burning a wall of fire," Ino said, Sakura shaking her head in agreement.

"Seventh Terrace," he whispered again.

"I was watching some guys fight on a river while other watched them below the water," Sasuke said.

"Ha, that's the Fifth Circle."

"What are you talking about?" the puppet master asked.

"Hmm? Oh, trust me, you'll learn in time. ANYWAYS! As Kankuro was saying, he is willing to do the next song, right now. But there is one condition."

"What's that?"

Drawl made a dramatic turn and pointed a finger at Gaara. "He must go right after you."

Gaara merely looked at him and said, "No." Short and simple, at the very least.

"Oh, I think you'll do what I say."

"And why's that? I am not afraid of death; in fact I welcome it. For you to save me from the Hell that is my life would a gracious favor to me." Suddenly Gaara's face tightened up, and he started screaming. After about 30 seconds he stopped and looked at Drawl with fear running through his eyes. "What was that?"

Drawl smirked and said, "That, my friend, is called Rule 34. Those particular pictures were only of you and Naruto. Trust me, I'll find much worse if I have to."

"No more! I'll do the song after Kankuro, I promise."

"I thought you would agree."

"Wait a minute," Naruto interrupted. "Me and Gaara? What exactly is Rule 34?"

"Naruto, look at me," Gaara said. Naruto turned towards him, and what he saw both shocked and horrified him. What he saw was Gaara _afraid_. As if he had seen the most terrifying thing in existence and had then gone blind, with that image forever burned into his skull. Gaara said, "Rule 34 is an abomination of mankind, and you, Naruto, you are so much more pure for not seeing it. You will not have to live with the nightmares I will now see for the rest of my life." Gaara turned back around and curled into the fetal position, much like Naruto and Kiba had been doing earlier.

Naruto looked back at Drawl and asked, "It's that bad?"

Drawl responded, " Yes. Yes it is." There was a moment of silence after he said that, everyone wondering what could be so horrible as to make Gaara react that way. The only sounds were Gaara's cries of anguish. Eventually Drawl said, "So, Kankuro, you were going to sing a song for us?"

"Oh, oh yeah, yeah, I was," Kankuro said, looking shaken up. "I was going to do Master of Puppets."

"Seriously? Awesome. Wait…" Drawl looked at the barren stage for a moment, and then snapped his fingers. "I have an idea." Drawl snapped his fingers again, and instantly three metallic people appeared on stage. "Everyone, I would like to introduce to you Robot Kirk Hammett on guitar, Robot Steve Harris, and Robot John Bonham."

"Who are they?" Sakura asked.

"How dare you!" Drawl yelled, and lightning came down and struck Sakura. Sakura fell first onto the table, now very charred. "Don't worry, she's still alive. _For now._" Drawl turned to Kankuro and said, "Go on then."

"O-ok." Kankuro walked up to the stage and took hold of the mic stand. He turned to look at the Robots on the stage; Kirk and Steve were standing there, while John was consuming massive amounts of beer being delivered by the puppet.

"NO! That is a very bad John Bonham!" Drawl yelled as he hit the robot with a newspaper. "No drinking! You know what happened last time!" Drawl took away the rest of the beer and left the John Bonham robot to sulk. "I'm sorry for that. Please, begin your song."

Kirk started with a guitar intro, which was pretty awesome. And then the vocals came in.

_End of passion play, crumbling away  
I'm your source of self-destruction  
Veins that pump with fear, sucking dark is clear  
Leading on your deaths construction_

_Taste me you will see  
More is all you need  
Dedicated to  
How I'm killing you_

_Come crawling faster  
Obey your Master  
Your life burns faster  
Obey your MASTER!  
MASTER!_

_Master of Puppets I'm pulling your strings  
Twisting your mind and smashing your dreams  
Blinded by me, you can't see a thing  
Just call my name, 'cause I'll hear you scream  
MASTER!  
MASTER!  
Just call my name, 'cause I'll hear you scream  
MASTER!  
MASTER!_

The crowd was really into it now, cheering and whooping. Some were even throwing up the horns (specifically Drawl).

_Needlework the way, never you betray  
Life of death becoming clearer  
Pain monopoly, ritual misery  
Chop your breakfast on a mirror_

_Taste me you will see  
More is all you need  
Dedicated to  
How I'm killing you_

_Come crawling faster  
Obey your Master  
Your life burns faster  
Obey your MASTER!  
MASTER!_

_Master of Puppets I'm pulling your strings  
Twisting your mind and smashing your dreams  
Blinded by me, you can't see a thing  
Just call my name, 'cause I'll hear you scream  
MASTER!  
MASTER!  
Just call my name, 'cause I'll hear you scream  
MASTER!  
MASTER!_

The word 'Master' started repeating and fading off into the distance, as the song switched to a soft acoustic sound. Soon the heavy chugging of the guitar returned.

_Master, Master, where's the dreams that I've been after?  
Master, Master, you promised only lies  
Laughter, Laughter, all I hear or see is laughter  
Laughter, Laughter, laughing at my cries_

Then Kankuro said something that nobody could understand. "Did he just say 'Make some eggs'?" Naruto asked.

Drawl responded, "Honestly, I'm not sure." Kirk pulled off the solo to perfection (as he always does) and the song returned to its normal riff.

_  
Hell is worth all that, natural habitat  
Just a rhyme without a reason  
Never-ending maze, drift on numbered days  
now your life is out of season_

_  
I will occupy  
I will help you die  
I will run through you  
Now I rule you too_

_Come crawling faster  
Obey your Master  
Your life burns faster  
Obey your MASTER!  
MASTER!_

_Master of Puppets I'm pulling your strings  
Twisting your mind and smashing your dreams  
Blinded by me, you can't see a thing  
Just call my name, 'cause I'll hear you scream  
MASTER!  
MASTER!  
Just call my name, 'cause I'll hear you scream  
MASTER!  
MASTER!_

The song ended with the sounds of many people laughing, and frankly, it sounded really creepy. "You know, that sounded really creepy," Kiba remarked.

"Thank you Kiba. We wouldn't have known how to describe that if you hadn't told us," said Neji.

"Why you're quite welcome Neji. I'm glad I was of help to you."

Neji rolled his eyes and muttered, "Idiot." Then Neji was struck by lightning and died.

Sasuke looked at the body, then at Drawl. "Did heart attacks start getting boring?"

"Yes, yes they did."


	5. Enter Gaara

Hello! I'm alive! Just very lazy!

* * *

Ninja Karaoke

Chapter 5: Enter Gaara

Kankuro came down from the stage back to his seat, and was greeted by the sight of many of the boys roasting marshmallows over Neji's flaming remains. "Uh… hey guys."

"Hey Kankuro. Here's a stick. Grab a marshmallow," Naruto said. Kankuro did so, and was actually quite enjoying himself until he noticed that Gaara was in a coma. His first thought was that the beast might come out, but seeing as how they weren't all dead he figured it was safe for now.

"Have you guys tried waking Gaara up?" he asked.

"Yeah, but nothing's worked so far. So I said screw it, it's too troublesome," said Shikamaru.

"Well that might be a problem," said Drawl, suddenly appearing behind Shikamaru.

"Agh!" Shikamaru screamed, dropping his stick into the fire that was Neji. He sighed and muttered, "Damn it…"

"Why is it a problem?" asked Ki- no, wait, who hasn't had any lines in a while? …Chouji! Let's do that again.

"Why is it a problem?" asked Chouji.

"Why thank you for asking Chouji. It's a problem because I said Gaara had to go after Kankuro. If Gaara is incapacitated, I'm afraid I'll have to kill all of you."

"WHAT?" screamed out, well, everyone.

"Oh, and you have until the end of the next song, which will be played by my robo-band."

"What's the next song?" asked someone. I don't care anymore. A robotic version of Dream Theater appeared on stage.

"Six Degrees of Inner Turbulence. GO!" Drawl disappeared, and the band started playing.

Shikamaru turned to everyone. "Alright, we have about 42 minutes to wake Gaara up. Does anyone have a plan besides me?" Everyone kept their hand down except for Naruto. "Anyone at all?"

"Me! Ooh, ooh! Pick me!"

"Nobody?"

"Me!" Naruto urged.

"Well that sucks, I kind of ran out of ideas a while ago when we were trying to wake him up. I guess we're all just going to die, then." Naruto whispered his plan into Shino's ear, who then put his arm up. "Ah, Shino. What's your plan?"

"We could try pouring boiling hot ramen on his face."

"We already tried that."

Naruto spoke up, "Well can we make the ramen anyways? I'm hungry!" The little puppet thing rode over on his bicycle right then and handed a fresh bowl of ramen to Naruto. "Ah, thanks little guy!"

"Just think of it as a last meal." The puppet rode off, leaving Naruto with his death meal. Naruto looked at it gravely, and then just shrugged and started eating it anyways. Because, hey, ramen is ramen.

"We could try throwing him on stage and see if the band wakes him up," said, um, crap, who else hasn't said anything in a while? …Temari.

"Good point, Temari. I guess we'll try that first." Shikamaru was about to ask someone to hoist Gaara up onto stage when he saw that Lee was already putting him up there. "Uh, thanks Lee."

Lee turned and saluted. "It is my honor!" Everyone just stared at Gaara for a little bit, and seeing how he wasn't waking up, they decided to get him off the stage. Lee went to get him off but was stopped by Drawl.

"I'm afraid you can't do that, Lee."

"But why? I must recover him so may try and wake him up!"

"Yes, I know, but if you get up on stage right now, you may disrupt the band. And seeing how Dream Theater are perfectionists, they may rip your head off." Just then, Robot James LaBrie's head exploded. Drawl turned around and muttered, "What the f- oh."

Gaara was awake. And he didn't look happy. Robot John Petruuci swung at him with his guitar, but was caught by the sand. He tried in vain to pull it out, but the sand spread and covered his body, which then exploded. Next Gaara turned his sights to Robot John Myung.

Robo-Myung attempted to use his patented Myung-Tackle on Gaara, but was caught and, like Robo-Labrie and Robo-Petrucci, exploded. Robot Jordan Rudess donned his wizard hat and proceeded to play his magical keyboard, but was killed by Gaara before completing anything.

Just then Robot Kanye West showed up. "Hey yo Gaara, I'm happy for you, and I'ma let you finish, but- OH GOD!" Gaara had destroyed him too.

"Huh, well that part was enjoyable," Drawl said. "But seriously, Gaara, stop." Gaara's sand started going to Drawl, but Drawl just bitch-slapped it away. "Yeah, no." Drawl de-summoned Robot Mike Portnoy (the only surviving member) and the remains of the rest of the band. He turned his attention to Gaara. "I should kill you for destroying one of my favorite bands, even if they were robots. However, you made a deal with me that you are about to keep."

"And what deal was that? I don't intend to sing," Gaara retorted.

"Aha! So quick to forget are we?" Gaara let out a yell and cringed in pain, images rushing to his head. And all at once, they were gone. "Remember now?"

"Yes, yes I remember. And if I sing, I never have to see a…a…Rule 34 picture again?"

"Only the good ones."

"There are good ones of that?"

"The non-yaoi ones. So anyways, what song are you doing?"

"Shouldn't it be obvious? My whole family is into Metallica."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. That leaves me to wonder what song Temari is doing, though. If we're going to keep having these rock songs, I need to add a new member to the band." The normal robot band appeared, but with one more member. "Everyone, I'd like to introduce Robot K.K. Downing on guitar."

"Wh-" Sakura started, but quickly shut her mouth as she remembered what happened last time. She still had a heart attack and died.

"Alright, Gaara, get to it." Drawl walked off stage, leaving Gaara to start his song. At first a guitar riff played, and was soon joined by the drums. The music started getting heavier until the whole band was playing. Gaara started:

_Say your prayers little one  
Don't forget my son  
To include everyone_

_I tuck you in, warm within  
Keep you free from sin  
'Til the sandman he comes_

_Sleep with one eye open  
Gripping your pillow tight_

_Exit light  
Enter night  
Take my hand  
We're off to never-never land_

A small bridge was played and the next verse came up.

_Something's wrong, shut the light  
Heavy thoughts tonight  
And they aren't of Snow White_

_Dreams of war, dreams of liars  
Dreams of dragon's fire  
And of things that will bite, yeah_

_Sleep with one eye open  
Gripping your pillow tight_

_Exit light  
Enter night  
Take my hand  
We're off to never-never land_

After this was a pretty awesome solo. Just as before everyone was getting into the music, because Metallica is just awesome that way. The music slowed down, and a child's voice came on.

_Now I lay me down to sleep  
Now I lay me down to sleep  
Pray the lord my soul to keep  
Pray the lord my soul to keep_

_If I die before I wake  
If I die before I wake  
Pray the lord my soul to take  
Pray the lord my soul to take_

"Who was the kid?" asked…Hinata.

"Not sure, but I'm wondering if he has some kind of relation to James Hetfield," Drawl answered. He waited for someone to ask "Who?" but nobody did. Drawl smiled. They had learned something after all.

_Hush little baby don't say a word  
And never mind that noise you heard  
It's just the beasts under your bed  
In your closet in your head_

_Exit light  
Enter night  
Grain of sand_

_Exit light  
Enter night  
Take my hand  
We're off to never-never land_

_Boo! Yeah yeah!_

_We're off to never-never land  
Take my hand  
We're off to never-never land  
Take my hand_

_We're off to never-never land  
We're off to never-never land  
We're off to never-never land…_

As Gaara repeated the last line over and over again, the whole band started to slowly disappear, including Gaara, until they were completely gone.

"Whoa, wait, where did Gaara go?" Kankuro asked worriedly.

"Don't worry. He'll be back." Sure enough, Gaara reappeared right next to Kankuro. Drawl smiled at him. "Good job Gaara, I knew you had it in you. Here's a reward."

"It's not more of that…Rule 34 stuff is it?"

"Yes…but I think you might like these." Gaara's eyes widened in surprise, and then he glanced over at Hinata.

"Really?"

"Oh yeah."

* * *

No, Gaara is not going to rape Hinata. Get your mind out of the gutter.


End file.
